MilSpouse in the House: Military Spouse of the Year Program Spotlight

And welcome back for another episode of Mill Spouse in the House. I am your host, Kristi Nix. I have been married to my husband for 22 years. 21 of those wedded bliss years were as an active duty army wife. We have just recently crossed the bridge of retirement. We have just had our first year officially as a retired family. And we have settled down in the Fort Stewart, Georgia area where I am currently the head coach and personal trainer of our local Anytime Fitness. We are so glad to have you here with us again today for this episode. It is truly something special. We are celebrating one of the most uplifting traditions in the military spouse world, recognizing the spouses who lead, uplift, innovate, advocate and make our community stronger every single day. And to help us do that, we have two extraordinary guests from Armed Forces Insurance, the organization behind the Military Spouse of the Year program. I'm thrilled to welcome Lori Simmons, Vice President and Chief Growth Officer at AFI and a driving force behind the Military Spouse of the Year program. And Jamie Billert, your 2025 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year. Lori and Jamie, thank you both so much for being here. We cannot wait to dive into your stories, your leadership and the impact this program is making nationwide. But first, before we dive into today's conversation, let's take a moment to look back at some of the biggest wins for military families in the year of 2025 brought to you by Millspouses.com, a site built by military spouses for military spouses. So here's what shaped this past year. School choice expanded. A major executive order strengthened school choice options for military families, helping ensure continuity for kids navigating PCS moves. I absolutely love that. It is an amazing feature. Our oldest had been to five schools by the time she was in the fifth grade. So it is certainly a challenge for our little military kiddos. Another big thing for the year of 2025 was TSA access for families. TSA expanded free pre-check eligibility to military spouses and Gold Star families and rolled out new honor lanes at more than a dozen airports, giving service members, families and veterans designated security access. PCS reimbursement overhaul. The DoD announced plans to overhaul PCS reimbursement, aiming to streamline costs and reduce the financial strain so many families experience during moves. New healthcare flex spending accounts for the first time military families gained access to healthcare FSAs, allowing them to set aside pre-tax dollars for a range of medical expenses, a huge quality of life win in our military community. More details can be found on Millspouses.com. New year, new goals, but let's be honest, sometimes it's the same mental load. Talkspace makes it easier to take care of your mind in 2026. One message, one session, one step at a time. We'll be right back. Having a military spouse comes with its challenges, but you don't have to navigate them alone. Welcome to Millspouse in the House, your go-to podcast for real talk, support and community. And thanks to our sponsor Talkspace, getting the mental health support you need is easier than ever. Talkspace is a secure HIPAA compliant therapy platform where you can connect with licensed therapists anytime from anywhere. Now in the TRICARE network for all TRICARE recipients for children, 13 and up, retirees, veterans, and active duty spouses, because mental wellness is for the whole family. Visit Talkspace.com slash Millspouse today and take the first step towards support that fits your lifestyle. All right, everybody, welcome back. As promised, we are here with two powerhouse guests, Lori Simmons from Armed Forces Insurance and Jamie Billert, your 2025 military spouse of the year. Lori champions an incredible program that uplifts spouses across the globe. And Jamie is living proof of the magic that can happen when our community sees, supports, and celebrates one another. So let's get into it, ladies. Lori, we're going to start with you. You're a military spouse yourself. Can you share a bit about your background and how you came to be involved with AFI and the military spouse of the year program? Absolutely. Well, first, thanks for having me. This is exciting as we are in the nomination phase of this next year's program. I was born and raised in Leavenworth, Kansas, so grew up in a military community, had a lot of military friends, you know, PCS'd once and to Kentucky and back to Kansas. I learned a lot about the military on that side of things. I've also been working with military organizations professionally for most of my career. So I've kind of gotten the full circle of activities that happen, not just with military families, but how companies can support our military community. And we started as a sponsor of the military spouse of the year program. And I just got really close to the community and realized that this would be another way for us to live out the AFI mission. And that is our tagline, our mission is you. So we support the military community by covering their personal property, homes, autos. And so that's one way that we can support the military community. However, it's important too that we show them the support that they need on the personal side of things. And so when an opportunity arose for us to purchase the award program, to be able to take it to the next level, we did that in 2018. And we have continued to grow the program year after year, honoring our spouses for their unwavering support of not just our servicemen and women, but the community at large. So definitely a lot of moving and shaking that happens within this community. And we really wanted to showcase all of the good things that these folks are doing. Yeah. And so Jamie, that brings us to you. Many of our listeners know you from your work over the past year, but for those meeting you for the first time, tell us about your journey as a military spouse, where you've lived, what drives your passion and what all this title can mean to you. This January will mark eight years that my husband and I have been married. And based on our journey together, our marriage, I would say that my time as a military spouse really started seven years ago when we moved to New York. So when I met my husband, I was in my home state of Illinois. So during that time, we were living on the economy. For non-military folks, that just means we weren't living on a base. And so I already had my job. I was from the area. The only thing that changed was I got married and I had a stepchild and we just continued on. So when we PCSed, meaning Kyle got orders and now we had to move, it was a lot. When we got married, again, we were in my home state of Northern Illinois. So when I went to go get my ID and we went to Great Lakes Naval Base, I had already been there. My oldest brother had served. He went through bootcamp there. Granted, that was like 14 years prior, but being from the area, I knew that was there. I had visited it. So it wasn't, you know, it's like, okay, I'm going to go here, but I still have my life. So when we moved to New York, that was outside of my reality or anything that I had thought of. I was moving halfway across the country. I was moving with an infant because by that point we had had our first child together and I was moving into military housing. So you know, there's pros and cons to that, but the people who my husband were working with were also the people I was living below and under and the people we were socializing with and I was away from my family. I mean, I went away for college, but that was like 40 miles from where I grew up. So again, just that geographical separation from your stereotypical support system, I think is what a lot of spouses can assimilate to. So what do you do, right? You've got two choices and the path I took was, it's ahead. Just look ahead, lean into it and go. And so before we moved, just like a lot of spouses, I think, you know, you go to the Google machine, you go to the Facebook groups and I was seeing these posts from the Spouses Club in New York and they were doing such fun things and I was like, oh, that looks like a good time and I would like to have a good time. I want to make the most of this experience. So when we moved, the first event that they had was, it was a club meeting, the family clinic, the office manager was going to be there, the ombudsman, the ombudsman coordinator. So it was kind of like, welcome to the club, but here are the resources so you can talk with everybody. So I loaded up my babe in the stroller and we walked down the street to the community center and, you know, being the new person, if you can channel that back when you're a little kid to an adult now, it's nerve wracking. And I walked into that community center and I was amazed. I get so emotional about this because it was just such an impactful moment, you know, in my spouse journey, in my life, because I was really impressed with the number of spouses who were there, their, well, you know, their demeanor, welcoming me in and then also there were children running around. So as I mentioned, you know, this is my first time moving, military move, and I have a young family. Like when we moved, my son was like six or seven months. So I was just embarking on that season of parenthood. So when I walked in and I saw that other spouses had their children there, to me it said, these people are living it, they get it, and they're going to meet me where I'm at. They're going to welcome me where I'm at. And it just meant the world to me. And so I got involved with the club. I attended events and we'd have our board meetings, you know, who wants to approve the minutes or what do you think about this? You know, I try to take my time, you know, let the seasoned people or who was there speak up and then, you know, I would try to contribute and be a part of the community. And when that season came to a close, you know, when spouses were moving and it came time to nominate or accept nominations to be on the club, I just rolled with it. I thought this made a real impact on my first impression of what it is to be a military spouse and I want to keep this going and pay it forward to the next generation, the spouses that come behind me. So I served as treasurer, then I was president, vice president, and I loved being a part of it and I was still getting feedback or questions, you know, do you want to do it another year? And it kind of got to the point where I realized I've had this experience. We were in New York for six years and three of those I served on the spouses club board and I had this moment of thinking, I know what has been, but things happen, right? New spouses are coming in, just time is passing, right? And with that, we need to evolve. And so I thought I need to give someone else their time to step up and give back. So I stepped away from serving on the board, but still stayed an active member. And wouldn't you know, the unit ombudsman for sector New York, they had left and sectors are large in the Coast Guard and that was overwhelming to me. So my husband was at a station and the long and short of it was I got rerouted back to sector and so I put my name in as a volunteer and I interviewed with the command and bless their hearts, they gave me a shot. And I'm really appreciative of that. So you know, from there, pardon me, I served as the ombudsman for sector New York, then I served simultaneously for station New York and missed New York, which is the maritime safety and security team. And now that we've relocated, again, things just aligned, the previous spouse that was volunteering as ombudsman, which pardon me, I keep saying this word, but it's just a link between families and commands to make sure that we're maintaining a work life balance or addressing the needs of families. And so that's kind of my progression of getting involved, volunteering and becoming aware of different organizations like armed forces insurance or other companies, corporations or nonprofits that help fill the gap for families. And so, you know, what does this title mean to me, the 2025 armed forces insurance military spouse of the year? What it means to me is a testament to the efforts of those spouses, I'm going to try not to get emotional, but you know, the spouses I met in 2019, when I first walked into that community center and the spouses I've met along the way, because their efforts, their passion, it made me realize that the experience you have at a unit or an area is what you make of it. And there's a lot of work that these spouses put in to make sure that your time is memorable. And so I really view it as this title and this award is really theirs. You know, they've lifted me up and helped me learn and grow how to serve. And this title is really theirs. And I don't know if this is intentional, but the way that I interpret to this year, my husband is in like that in between. He's not a junior member, but he's not a senior member. And so with that affiliation, because of my husband's rank, and being named the overall winner, I think this is a really great moment in time to acknowledge the potential of these junior member spouses and these kind of in between and, and their willingness and their desire to step up, step into roles and hone their skills. Yeah, that's so incredible. Such a good story, Jamie. And the whole time we were speaking, I just couldn't keep, I kept thinking about my very first year as an Army wife. We're from the Atlanta area. I married my high school sweetheart. We moved right after he got his commission to Fort Irwin, California. And he left 10 days later for a year in Iraq. And you know, no kids. That certainly would have added a whole nother component of hard. But now I have PCS, I'm an Army wife without my spouse. And my plan was to move home. I was going to move there with him, be there with him for those 10 days. And I was just going to go back and live with my parents. And the spouses I met in those, in that first week was so significant that I completely pivoted and said, I need to be around these people. I need to spend this year around the women who have walked this path. Fort Irwin is so small. You have the opportunity to really sit and rub elbows with battalion commander spouses and brigade spouses. And General Cullen was the commanding general at the time. And so I was really able to absorb some of the knowledge and the wisdom and just the grit it took to be a successful spouse, but also their positive stories. And knowing that that was going to be the nourishment I needed to navigate that year. But also paved the way for what I chose to do with my time as a spouse because of what they did for me. And it just sounds like you were really welcomed so well that it set the pace for you to say, I want to help other spouses the way these spouses helped me. Lori, many people in our community love the Military Spouse of the Year program, but may not all know exactly how it started. Can you share the origin story with us? Yeah, it's a great story too. It started in 2008, actually. And at the time, there was one overall winner and that was it. A couple of years later, we started to have branch winners. So that expanded a little bit farther. And at that point, voting, a voting process was implemented. And a few years later, we decided to grow the program even more and start at the base level. So now there are base winners. And so think about that. I mean, every branch of service in every military installation could have a base winner. And what I always tell everybody is, you know, that is an accomplishment in and of itself just to win base. I mean, you can carry that title forever. It's your title. No one else will ever be the 2026 Fort Leavenworth Spouse of the Year. That's your title. So that's super exciting because I think sometimes we don't think about how much work is actually done on the ground. And you know, it's great to be elevated to the branch level and then to the overall. But there's a lot to be said for those base winners as well. The other thing that I feel like was sort of pivotal in the evolution of the program is the five criteria that the candidates are judged on and the voting process in general. I think it's important to get this information out to everybody who might be interested in nominating a spouse. The categories that we judge the spouses on are leadership, which, by the way, is weighted more heavily than the other four, because a lot of the feedback that we've received from senior military leaders is that that's their favorite part of this program, is how leadership is so important to the program and what that does, you know, how that trickles down to all of the other spouses as well. Your involvement. You have to be someone who's involved, and you just heard Jamie talk about her involvement, so that's a great example of that. Community building. It's important for us in the military community to bridge, to build bridges between the military community and our civilian friends. There's a lot of good that we can do together. It doesn't have to be all military or all civilian, so building the community is very important. Communication. Obviously, communication is key all the way through all of these other pillars. And then to have some compelling story. You know, there's so many stories out there, and there's so many stories, like Jamie just talked about, how somebody reached back around and grabbed her hand and pulled her up with them. And that is probably one of the most important aspects of the program, I think, is that, you know, we need to be there for the next group. We need to be there for the next generation. We need to, you know, help them see that there's power in numbers, and that when we stick together and we help each other, we can accomplish anything, and we can get through the trials and tribulations that are constant in the military community. So here we are in 2018 was when Armed Forces Insurance acquired the award, and we've continued to build that out. We've added the National Guard branch through the years. A few years ago, we added Space Force now, so we do have seven branches that are recognized in the program, and we are in the nomination phase right now. Nominations end on January 16th, so if you know a spouse, work to get that person nominated. They must be on active duty. I will say that we've had some questions about retired military spouses being able to participate, and that's not something that we are doing as of yet. But once nominations are in, then I think it's the next week will be the base voting, and then from the base voting, things get a little harder, I'll say. There's a lot more emphasis put on each nominee's or each candidate's profile. They are asked to complete a profile that gives the public an idea of how they are contributing to those categories, those judging categories that I mentioned, and at that point, we have a guest judging panel as well as an EMSOI panel. The EMSOI panel consists of all of the previous branch winners. We have many that participate every year and take this very seriously. Having come up through the program, they realize the credibility that this award has, not just with the, at the base level, but really at the senior military level. And so we pair that down to the top 21, so the top three spouses for each branch of service, and from there, the branch winners are, the top 21 are scored. There is a scorecard that is completed, the numbers add up, the top three are, you know, are shown at the top of the list, and from there, we go to a branch vote, and so out of those top three per branch, a branch winner percolates to the top with the scores, and then we have an overall vote that occurs, and we keep that secret until everybody gets together in May, and the unveiling occurs at the luncheon, and it is exciting. That is quite a process. It's overwhelming, too. Yeah. I was sitting at those, but it's... Sorry, Kristin. Go ahead. Well, I was just comparing it to, like, right now, you know, the college football playoffs are all over the news and the brackets and the voting and the committee, and I'm like, I think this is maybe a little bit more intense. That's good, though. I mean, because I'm sure it's so hard, mostly because all of them are volunteers, right? They're all choosing to spend their time doing something that they had to raise their hand and say they'd be willing to do, so to even vet that and say who was the best, but I know it's a metric that's worth evaluating and such an honor to receive. So, Lori, a lot of our listeners are probably thinking of someone right now, a friend that goes above and beyond for their unit, the base, the community, so for anyone thinking I know exactly who should be nominated, how can they get started doing that? Go to emsoy.afi.org, and that website will talk you through the login procedures and then how you can nominate. You have until January 16th, so whenever you hear this, if it's not January 16th, hop on and get someone nominated. Well, Jamie, let's go back to you a little bit. So you've had a whirlwind of a year for 2025 Military Spouse of the Year. So what has the experience been like and any moments that felt especially meaningful or eye-opening? Yeah, so I'll preface and say that I'm definitely one where I think the little moments accumulate right to big things, so I have a hard time narrowing it down, but I'll try to articulate this within the parameters of your question. So being branch winner for the Coast Guard and then overall has been a wonderfully challenging experience, and I mean that in the most positive way, because this past year, being a part of this community and the community, I mean, of all these spouses from base winners up to my fellow branch winners, they've pushed me to grow and develop both the skills that I already have and those that are not my strength. So just before town hall, I attended the Coast Guard National Ombudsman Training, and thanks to Chaplain Bowden, she facilitated