By Buddy Blouin
If you’re serving in the military, we have some terrible news for you. All Little Debbies snacks found in the commissary of the U.S. military will be going away. Both in the United States and overseas. Due to regulatory costs, Little Debbies snacks cost too much to supply these days. No more Swiss Rolls, Honey Buns, Cosmic Cupcakes, Star Crunches, Nutty Buddys, or whatever your favorite go-to is.

R.I.P. Little Debbies Snacks

As a federal contractor to the military, logistics and costs are important to a nearly billion-dollar business. But it’s the troops that will now suffer. Little Debbies snacks are going away. The issue comes down to cost, but what cost is too high when we’re talking about arguably the best brand of processed foods known to humankind? Sure, some substitutes will likely appear, but anything else is likely a downgrade. It’s also a blow for those who use the snacks as a way to raise funds for charities as well as troops stationed overseas looking for a familiar treat. Maybe this isn’t goodbye; maybe it’s “see you later.” But for now, it’s definitely at least a break. A spokesperson representing the McKee Foods Corporation, the brand responsible for Little Debbies, said the following with regret, “Perhaps some will see an opportunity to streamline federal contractor compliance.” The Little Debbie snacks list is a long and notable one. But if you’re going to get your fix while serving, you’re going to have to stock up or find another source.

How Long Do Little Debbie Snacks Last After Expiration Date?

The risks you take with your food choices are yours to make, but many sources say that anything between 1 and 18 months after the “best by” date can be safe. Of course, this will vary for many reasons, including the conditions in which your snack stash is kept. The best thing you can do is use common sense and keep your Little Debbie snacks in a safe place away from air, water, and sunlight. Real pros know, however, that putting your Little Debbie snacks in the freezer is the optimal place to not only preserve them but coax out their best taste. This information has never been more valuable to the American military than it is today.

...And We’re Doing This During a Time of Slow Recruitment?

The idea of recruitment is to get more people to enlist in the American Armed Forces. There are stations, booths, events, commercials, ads, and anything else you can think of across the world and various media to make this happen. But sadly, the military understands that, for many reasons, it’s facing a huge problem getting new recruits. The recruitment goals for 2030 set by the different branches are already in jeopardy. Now, you expect to improve these numbers when troops can undergo intense physical training, and be shipped overseas to fight in wars, but they can’t grab Zebra Cakes? I don’t buy it. Nobody is gonna sit here with a straight face and say that Little Debbie snacks are healthy. But this isn’t food for your body; it’s a snack for your soul. Expenses? How much does a new jet cost exactly? If this is about money, which it appears to be, we’ve gotta make it work. Divert taxes, eliminate wasteful spending, and find a way to make it work. There might not be a more American food to snack on than a Little Debbie cake. If you want to inspire patriotism and attract recruits, this may not be the right way to go about it.

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Who Owns Little Debbie Snack Cakes?

McKee Foods is a privately-held, family-run company responsible for bringing us delicious snack bars, mini muffins, cakes, brownies, pies, pastries, cookies, and more under the Little Debbie brand. Since 1934, when O.D. and Ruth McKee first released their delicious treats to the world, the McKees have been supplying timeless classic after classic to the American population and the world. Writing your Congressman is a suggested method of reaching politicians, but this isn’t the 19somethings. We have Twitter! Perhaps if enough people come together and Little Debbie is notified, this change could be reversed, and Little Debbie snack cakes could return! Or, the efforts will be futile, sadly never making it past the social media manager and/or intern running the account.

Is Little Debbie Going Out of Business?

No. "Little Debbie Going Out of Business" headlines are false. Despite recent rumors and upheaval online, Little Debbie is not going out of business (and thank goodness for that). In fact, they're doing better than ever. For the 2022 holiday season, their tasty Christmas tree snack cakes have been sold out at stores across the nation, proving that Little Debbie isn't going anywhere any time soon. After all, what would we do without our Cosmic Brownies and Swiss Rolls?!

Little Debbie Snack Cakes Ice Cream

A very welcoming entry, possibly even to make up for the discontinued Little Debbie snacks we all love and miss, is the brand’s venture into ice cream. The Little Debbies snack cake ice cream flavors have been a well-received addition to a brand that seemingly can do no wrong. It remains to be seen if Little Debbies snacks disappearing from military bases will be a long-lasting effect, but if it is, this is a sad time for all who are serving and all who plan to serve our country in the future.

Read next:

The Time the Selective Service Used Free Ice Cream To Trick Kids

Image: Sundry Photography - stock.adobe.com



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